Books: The Ultimate Collectible Dust Magnets

Let’s talk about books. Glorious, wonderful books. I love them—seriously—there’s nothing quite like holding a real, tangible, weighty book in your hands. The smell of the paper, the crack of the spine when you first open it, the feeling of accomplishment when you finish it. Books are magical. But here’s where things get a little... strange.

We love books so much that we don’t even have to read them to want them. Oh sure, we tell ourselves we’ll read them eventually—right after we finish the 47 others waiting patiently on the shelf—but deep down, we all know the truth. That new novel you just couldn’t resist at the bookstore? It’s going to spend about 99.9% of its life doing the same thing as the old one: sitting there, collecting dust, looking intellectual, and silently judging you.

From the perspective of a book, life must be... confusing. Imagine being born with all this potential, thinking, “I’m going to change someone’s life!” And then, after one quick read (maybe not even a full read... we all know about those “started but never finished” ones), it’s off to the shelf. If books had feelings, they’d probably be thinking, “Wait... that’s it? One ride and I’m done? Now I’m a paperweight?!” And yet, we can’t help ourselves.

The addiction is real, my friends.

We accumulate books like squirrels hoarding acorns for a winter that never comes. Every time we walk into a bookstore, we feel that tug—the inexplicable urge to buy more books, even though we have enough unread material at home to last several lifetimes.

It’s like an unspoken competition with ourselves: “How many books can I own but never actually read?” Is it 50? 100? Can I get to 500? Better yet, can I build an entire room filled with books that will mostly serve as decorative wallpaper? Who needs art when you have literature taking up space and silently reminding you of your ever-growing to-read list?

Books Are More Than Just... Books?

Books are multifunctional, though. Don’t underestimate their power beyond being read once and cast aside. For instance, they make fantastic conversation starters. Having a shelf full of books makes you look smart, sophisticated, and well-read, even if half of them are there because you liked the cover. Need to make a room cozier? Pile some books in the corner. Suddenly, it’s not just a room; it’s a reading nook.

And who hasn’t used a book as a doorstop or to prop up a wobbly table leg? Let’s not forget the handy ability to stack them into makeshift bedside tables because, after all, they’ll just sit there anyway.

The Eternal Cycle

Despite this... we crave more. We always want that next book. The thrill of adding to our collection, knowing full well that this new acquisition will follow the same cycle:

1. Buy book.

2. Bring it home with excitement.

3. Put it on the shelf.

4. Look at it occasionally with the promise of “I’ll get to it soon.”

5. Dust it off. Repeat steps 4 and 5 for eternity.

Don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t have it any other way. Books are companions. They’re a reflection of who we are, or at least who we aspire to be. They’re part of our identity. Sure, most of them will only ever get one good read before they’re set aside, but their presence is comforting. They wait, patiently, knowing that one day, when the planets align, you might just pick them up again.

The Conclusion? More Books, Obviously!

So yes, it’s strange, this human compulsion to accumulate stacks of paper we hardly ever use. But isn’t that part of the charm? Books aren’t just for reading—they’re for living alongside, like quiet little roommates who never complain but sometimes get passive-aggressive about the dust. They’re there for us, even when we ignore them.

And let's face it—if the only downside to loving books is that they sit around 99.9% of the time, I’d say that’s a small price to pay. So go ahead, buy that new novel. You and I both know it’s going straight to the shelf... but isn’t that exactly where it belongs?